I have been tired the last couple of days, so I did what any normal** person does and googled why am I so tired and what time should I go to bed?

I am so tired because I am dying of COPD and liver disease, as it turns out. OR, less likely, I am just not getting enough sleep. My doctor* is very vague.

How does one get enough sleep? Well, my doctor* says I should go to bed at 8:55pm. And honestly, my doctor* is really out of their fucking mind. How could I possibly read to the kids, exercise, read to myself, watch a show, and debrief the day with my husband if I am going to bed at 8:55pm. It is VERY clear to me now that I am tired because I am (dying of COPD and liver disease and) not getting enough sleep.

*Google

**I mean, honestly.

ALSO THIS

I’m on Van Life TikTok and I have a lot of questions about how these things handle crashes. There was this one with a family of 5 (DEAR GOD) who I think only went camping/road tripping in their van, ANYWAY, they did a tour and there were like three car seats behind the cab (and she commented they were bolted in?) and over the cab, so like RIGHT OVER the car seats, the mom was like “and here is where we store our tripods and tents!” And it was like a little open shelf. And then in the comments someone was like, “Um, is there net? Or…” and she responded, “Oh, we stuff sleeping bags in there and it’s very secure.”

What? I feel like there is a generation of people who didn’t get enough safety videos on VHS served up to them on a TV cart in Social Studies. Like, why do I know so much about crashes? M.A.D.D. videos? Or was it my summer of Real Stories of the Highway Patrol (SPEED IS THE NUMBER ONE CAUSE OF CRASHES).

There are also a LOT of white women who are talking about their bathroom habits and this one lady was like “I peed in a bush outside in this strip mall,” and lady, can you NOT? If you were unhoused and not white you would be the star of Next Door for the day. Like, USE A STARBUCKS, damn.