I got drunk and high last night so I was hoping this morning when I woke up everything would be fine. Wrong.

Best lines from last night –

J: “I’m glad I can’t be blamed for the End of the World. I was actually worried about that.”

S: “I’m actually kind of sad I’m not responsible for the End of the World. I really thought I would be instrumental.”

Later:

NBC News: “This county is known as a big bush county.”

Me: *eyes widen* *look around the room* *inner thought, “did they say big bush county?* *uncontrollable giggling*