I have really interesting things to say at 2AM when the rain has woken me up for the 10th time. Things like, “It’s still raining. It just rains and rains.” And, “It’s never going to stop, this rain. Did you know it’s still raining?” Or even worse, after I’ve said all of those things and wake up again at 4AM, I ask this scintillating question, “Is it raining?”

When it rains, I have the IQ of a dumb three year old.