I know you guys are still reading. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Here’s why girls shouldn’t have white sheets.

Blood, that’s why.

Now, first of all before I gross out even the girls, let me tell you a little story.

Two mornings ago, I woke up before my alarm. I know, I was as shocked as you are. And rolled over to see what time it was. Only to discover that there were two things that I do not like to see in my bed, right next to my pillow.

1. A dead spider (although a live spider in this case would be much, much worse)
2. A bit of blood.

I was day 4 of my period (I warned you guys like three times, so shut up!) and a little worried that I had performed some kind of night time acrobatics that killed a spider and caused me to leak near my pillow. Alas, after I flinged the dead spider body across the room using Harry Potter’s dust cover, I trudged to the bathroom. No leakage.

When was I bleeding from an unexpected place?
Why do I have white sheets? Now I’m not going to be able to let people sleep in them with out saying, “That blood stain isn’t from….you know.”
Was the spider there because of the blood or in spite of it?
Why do they even make white sheets?

None of these questions have been answered. My sheets are still dirty because I’m lazy and, hey, it’s my blood and it might cause the death of spiders, what do I care?

Have a good weekend everyone (my uterus made me say that).