Published by admin on 13 Jan 2013 at 08:08 pm
Sleep
We started sleep training on Friday night. It has been… fucking awful. For me.
We’re doing Ferber (with some modifications made for me and my personal feelings about things, one of those things being pacifiers. It’s bad enough kids can’t have blankets or toys or bumpers, but pacifier use in kids actually lowers SIDS risk so, there you go. Also, I’m still doing a night feeding, because I am. That’s why.). The first night was tough as we expected. There were a lot of wake ups and and I would set a stop watch app on my computer so I could see how long before I could go in. I would look down after what I thought would surely be at least a minute and 15 seconds would have gone by. We did 3, 5, and 10 minute intervals. It was a long night. And a long next day when we also did it for naps.
The second night was much improved. I put him into bed awake. He started to fuss, I gave him his pacifier and he rolled over and went to sleep. Just like that. He woke up an hour later crying, but went to sleep five minutes after that. There were a couple other wake-ups during the night (one for the feeding), but he did so much better.
Tonight we had about 15 minutes of crying. 15 minutes when you look down and expect a minute to have gone by and it’s only 15 seconds is a long time. I went in after 8 (I’m supposed to be up to 15 minutes waiting by now) and he was soaked with sweat. He’s now finally asleep, but I’m not confident it will last.
The weirdest thing about sleep training is that I am incapable of talking to anyone while he’s crying. I can only sit there and stare at the monitor and focus on the crying. I expected to want to watch TV or talk or anything other than listen to him, but it’s all I want to do. That and stare at the stopwatch and will the seconds to go by faster.
rosie @ rosalicious on 14 Jan 2013 at 7:04 am #
I made the mistake of reading some of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child after a particularly heinous night of sleep. It made me feel like a horrible mother who was totally fucking up her kid’s sleep habits, so I promptly closed it, never to be opened since.
That being said, despite dreading it, I am totally doing sleep training. Linden is only 2.5 months, so I have time to steel myself.
And I soooo know what you mean about not being able to talk to anyone while she’s crying. It’s all-consuming! But I guess that’s how nature intended it to be…
cindy w on 14 Jan 2013 at 12:06 pm #
Sleep training is the worst, and I’m sorry. Hopefully it’ll be over and done with soon.
Chris on 14 Jan 2013 at 4:20 pm #
Get ready for the inevitable setbacks. After both baby and I had meltdowns on night 4, we had to start all over again, with my husband doing the check-ins. My husband has done the last part of the bedtime routine since, while I go upstairs and have a glass of wine and have some alone time.
Angella on 15 Jan 2013 at 12:24 pm #
Sleep training is so HARD. I would sit in the hallway outside their door, unable to do anything else.
admin on 15 Jan 2013 at 12:46 pm #
Chris, thanks for the warning! I was prepared for a regression last night, but it was even better than the night before, which surely means tonight will be terrible.
Angella, I would sit outside his door too if I knew he wouldn’t be able to see me, but our doors are cut so high that you can totally see under them very easily and I would be in his direct sight line.
Noemi on 15 Jan 2013 at 4:18 pm #
I’m kinda (in that “at least I’m not the only one” sort of way) glad to hear I’m not the only one who is absolutely INCAPABLE of doing anything while the baby cries during sleep training. It only took Olivia three days to figure it out (but she was a bit older than Moe), but I stared at that monitor with every ounce of concentration I could muster. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t do anything else. J thought I was INSANE, but….
I actually still do it when she infrequently wakes at night. Stare at the monitor, willing her to lay down.
Karen on 17 Jan 2013 at 4:40 pm #
I didn’t do it at all, I admit it. Too hard, couldn’t stand it. It all passes eventually. It probably took my kids a lot longer to sleep through the night though!