Awkwardly Social

I am in the seventh circle of hell.  The normal thing that happens with jury duty is you get called, you sit in a room, you get sent to a panel, they either pick you or they don’t and you get sent home.  The thing that happened with me is, I sat in a room for half a day, got called, told the judge if I had to be on a case of that length I would lose my job, and then sat in a courtroom listening to a lawyer awkwardly flirt with potential jurors.  Then the judge said, this will be continued tomorrow.  SO, I get to go back tomorrow and sit and listen to a lawyer awkwardly flirt with potential jurors.

I almost peed my pants while waiting for the afternoon recess.  If I hadn’t been filled with rage at the time I would have seen the humor…  How many times as a kid did I almost pee my pants waiting for afternoon recess?  MANY.  How many times as an adult did I say to myself, fuck, I’m glad I can just get my ass up and go take a piss when I want to?  NEVER.  Because I DIDN’T KNOW ONE DAY THIS WOULD BE AN ISSUE.  AGAIN.

Fuck civic duty.  I want to be excused.

About a month and a half ago, I quit my job.

I had stopped being happy and found a way to change that.  I can’t tell you what a difference it made.  I’m able to get up in the morning without dread.  I wish I could have done this for myself sooner.

I would love to tell you what I’m doing, but I can’t and won’t.  I will tell you that I’m writing.  I’m getting paid to do it.  And I fucking love the people I’m working with.  I get to use the million dollar degree I earned, and I don’t have to sneak conversations  in the work kitchen while listening for my phone and hoping I don’t get the stink eye.

If  you were to hear me talking now, you’d hear the Southern accent currently Madonna-ing it’s way into my life.  You’d also hear the smile I’m unable to wipe out of my voice.

Things are good.  I’m good.