Awkwardly Social

With Ashlee Simpson singing her autobiography in the bg, and a grande mocha frappacino in my belly, I’m feeling like this is a nice little Saturday I got going on.

Last night instead of seeing Garden State, I went to a party with Elliot. (Mom and Dad, don’t read this part.) So here’s the thing about going to parties where you don’t know anyone. Just bring something to smoke that isn’t tobacco. (I know you’re still reading Mom and Dad, I told you not to, so for your sake, I’m saying it was cloves. Cloves make you very cool. Cloves. These are not the droids you’re looking for.) Instant friends. Listen here kiddies, don’t let anyone tell you that smoking isn’t cool. Last night that was proved to be not the case. I mean the crowd we attracted were 23 year olds, but there’s nothing wrong with cute 23 year olds, new to LA, Lacrosse camp coaches, and quite adorable. Super Big T-shirt Mag, look for it soon, I think that kid was onto something. Amazingly enough that was the first party I’ve been to in my 4+ years in LA that wasn’t film school related or an Ands invite. Thank you Elliot for bringing me along. I’m sorry I’m not younger.

I got another paycheck today, so that means this month I can actually pay rent! Yay! I can’t pay for anything else, but you know, it’s a start. I was in Virgin Megastore buying Ashlee Simpson (heh, contradiction is my middle name) and the cute boys behind the counter asked that age old question, “Did you find everything OK?” I think they expect you to say, yes, yes I did. But I am a tricky one. I said, actually, no, no I didn’t. Cute and helpful these boys were. Stereo Total is up next in the rotation, thanks to you, black t-shirt wearing, punk jewerly sporting, employees of Virgin.

I miss Arizona in the summer. I know, I know, it’s totally hot there. 112 degrees on a good day, but there are these amazing thunder storms with the best and most beautiful lightning displays. I have seen one, maybe two, thunder storms in my 5 years here and they just don’t compare to looking across the desert and seeing the black clouds rolling closer, electricity building and rumbles in the distance. Then the rain pours down, floods the streets and the weather men and women get to talk about Summer Storm Watch. I miss Arizona in the summer.

Here’s the question, “What are you most proud of since graduation?”

I don’t really know. I didn’t have any kids. I never got married. I guess grad school? But that seems kind of lame, I’m proud of going to grad school. What’s so great about that? I’m proud of surviving for almost 5 years in Los Angeles. Whoopdeeedooo. I’m proud of never getting accidentally pregnant. I’m proud of finding a job within two months of graduation. I’m proud of only occasionally having to ask my parents for money. I’m proud of what?

And what’s with the word proud? It looks weird on the page.

I’m anxiously sitting at work wishing the next 15 minutes would roll by so I can drink 10,000 margaritas. Or at least one.

I faxed some stuff today. I typed some stuff today. I mailed some stuff both FedEx and USPS (versatility, I know). I made some dubs. I printed some stuff. I put more paper in the printer. I alphabetized the video collection. And I did all this because I have a Master’s degree.

You all wonder why I have the DTs.

This year marks the very first time I actually made time to watch the convention proceedings. I got home from work, turned on the television and watched the speeches. I never felt the need before, and I know who I’m going to vote for now, so I don’t really know why I wanted to watch. I guess I’m the part of the choir that likes getting preached to.

Anyway, while watching President Bill Clinton speak they would cut to a wide shot from behind him showing the massive audience, and I would stare at the back of his head. Every time they cut to that shot I thought, “That’s not his head. Whose head is that?” It’s like in the Seinfeld episodes when George was working for the Yankees [it was the Yankees wasn’t it?] and he would go into Steinbrenner’s [or whoever it was supposed to be] office and we would only see the back of his head. And we all knew it wasn’t really Steinbrenner but it was a back of the head so you can’t really tell… My point is, Bill Clinton from the back and 3/4 back kinda looks like anyone but himself. His head shape is wrong, his cheeks look strangely puffy. Weird.

Pat Buchanan was on MSNBC talking about the speeches and he talked about how shrill Hillary Clinton is. I don’t personally find her shrill. I have been called shrill before, so maybe I don’t have that hearing range that is grated by that voice register. Pat Buchanan was all sitting there steaming, looking kind of plastic and I wondered how someone could be so angry all the time. I guess he really hates Democrats.

Jon Stewart was on with Tom Brokaw and Tim Russert making fun of them for talking about Teresa Heinz-Kerry. Tom and Tim [I used to go to highschool with twins named Tim and Tom, weird] were all serious and Jon was all sitting there being great. Loved it.

I almost forgot my favorite moment of the Clinton speech [god, I am lame] they cut to an audience shot and Richard Schiff was sitting there listening and I thought, “Toby wrote a really good speech this time.” Then I remembered that Richard Schiff is an actor and Toby is a character on a show. I chuckled quite a little bit missing a few moments of the speech.

A friend of mine is shooting his thesis over the next couple of weeks. He is making an action sci-fi movie with amazing sets, stunts and production value. Here’s what I learned about that, stunt guys aren’t necessarily as hot as actors, but they seem way more fun.

There is a 1st AC on a lot of sets I work on. My situational crush on him continues.

There was a guy who kept staring at me. I think he was in the camera department. He might have been wondering why I kept staring at 1st AC, he also might have been wondering if he knew me from some place. He refused to smile at me, except once. Once I got a smile out of him. I think I was doing something stupid and laughing about it.

I mostly sat around and ate craft service. When I wasn’t eating I was smoking. When I wasn’t doing either of those, I was trying to look busy. I wasn’t very successful.

I have to tell you something. It’s been a secret for a couple of weeks. I was trying it out to see if I could take it. I’m back on the meat wagon. Or I fell off the meat wagon. Whatever. I’m no longer a vegetarian. I spent five years of my life eating no meat, and when I say that it’s not even really true. I was a Californian vegetarian. I would eat sushi. My excuse was that I could actually see myself catching a fish, cleaning it and then eating it. But really, I just like it. I would eat BBQ Pork Buns that my brother-in-law’s mom had made because you know, you wouldn’t want to offend Mrs. T. But really, I just thought they were delicious. I would eat Matzoh Ball soup from Canter’s and think, you know if I don’t eat the chicken chunks it’s not really like I’m eating meat and chicken soup has healing properties. Just ask the rich folks at Chicken Soup for the Soul. But in truth, those Matzoh Balls are soaked in the chicken broth. I was eating chicken juice. That’s actually grosser than eating the chicken. So now, I’m just a meat eater.

Allie has promised to take me on a meat tour of LA. What is a meat tour of LA, you ask? Well I have never had an In and Out burger. I have never had a Pink’s hotdog. To mis-quote a line from Mun Chee’s movie, “You have never had Tommy Burger? You must go. That is ridiculous.”

I’m about to say something that I said way back in 1994, “The internet is stupid. I mean, there’s a lot of stuff on it, but you can’t really find anything you want.”

All I wanted was a list of people who are on the Kerry Campaign payroll. We wanted me to find the contact information for one specific guy, who apparently doesn’t even exist in the Kerry sphere. There is a guy with a name vaguely similar, but not really close enough.. I kind of expected the Kerry Campaign to have sort of an imdb type place that had the cast of characters, then a more complete cast of characters and etc. No. It only has the major players. It’s like saying, “Tom Cruise was in Mission Impossible. His wife’s name is Nicole Kidman and they have a couple of kids. Nicole and the kids weren’t in the movie, but we thought you should know that he has a wife and kids. And actually she’s not even his wife anymore. She’s his ex-wife. And if you’re wondering who played anyone else in the movie, good luck.”

Stupid internet.

Or so they say on television. Here’s the thing. I’m researching for diseases that may be helped by stem cell research. I know the big ones, those were easy to find. Did you know baldness may be closer to being cured with stem cell research? Whatever. The problem with the internet is the vast amount of information that isn’t really information at all, just a repeating of information that has already been put on the goddamned internet. Anyway, I’m just looking for one definitive list of diseases that they know/think will be helped by stem cell research. A list that doesn’t begin with ALS, Alzheimer’s and Parkinsons and end with “and many others…” What the christ are the many others? That’s what I want to know. And don’t tell me baldness, I already found that one.

My eye doctor told me I’m lazy. She recommended contacts for lazy people. She’s worried about my blood-shot eyes. I have to go see her again next week so she can make sure I’m not going to go blind from my own sheer laziness. Category: Things I already know.

On the bright side, my vision has actually gotten better. Apparently my lazy ass is so damn lazy my eyes decided to get better. Ha! Take that!

I watched the premiere of Entourage last night. And aside from piss poor editing, it was actually pretty good. Particularly casting Kevin Dillon as Vince’s older brother who also wants to act. Some nice inside older brother jokes were slipped in there. Also, I like any show that has Mark Wahlberg showing up for a little cameo action. I guess when you’re the executive producer they can get you to show up every once in a while and show your hot mug.

Also, Elliot had a party. Elliot on Thursday, “No one’s coming. I just want to cancel it.”

On Saturday through the crowd of people packed into her apartment, on her balcony and the adjoining patio, I think I might have caught a glimpse of the hostess. I think at one point I might have yelled something about too much tequila makes me want to take my shirt off, but I’m pretty sure my shirt stayed on. Which is a relief and makes me think my tequila spell might be broken. It seems now tequila only makes me talk about how I take my shirt off rather than doing it. Good enough for me.