Awkwardly Social

The ladies just left the mountain and I am alone again with the monsters. Champagne, wine, a grill and a good horror movie are really all you need for a good time. It was beginning to look like we were going to have a horror movie of our own there for a while. Elliot pointed out a ‘really great knife,’ we went for a walk at dusk around the neighborhood, we had wine, we were in a remote location. At one point, one of us, I will not mention names, was in their underwear. After she put her clothes and I pointed out that she was going to get killed first, she said she should have danced around or jiggled a little to really make it ‘horror movie realistic.’ We all agreed. Thanks for a great time ladies! I’m glad none of us ended up dead.

Things to remember when alone in the mountains:
1. Don’t watch 28 Days Later by yourself, at night, and then try to go out to your car to get something. You might as well just leave whatever it is you thought you needed in the car.
2. A diet of only chocolate, Diet Vanilla Coke and dip, not good. Makes for a jittery girl alone in the mountains.
3. When Bury tries to sit on your lap, barks and barks until you let him, (he doesn’t like zombies either) your leg will fall asleep.
4. That noise you are hearing, outside, it’s nothing…Let it go.
5. Having 4 pitbulls sleep with you on a night like this, while they do provide a certain level of comfort, is still 3 too many pitbulls in bed, breathing, snoring and farting, on you.

So, I’m going to the mountains today. The beautiful, quiet, dog filled, lonely mountains.

Here’s the list of shit I have to get done up there:
1. Production book (for the love of Christ, I must finish the crappy paperwork for my film)
2. Festival research (yeah, I gotta start spending my money on my film, again)
3. Preliminary curriculum (not fun, but will pay the bills)
4. New script outline (the writing never ends)
5. Resume (fabulous jobs that pay piles and piles of money are in my future, if only I could get my stupid CV together)
6. Walk the dogs, like, 800 thousand times

OK? So you read it here, I’m going to be productive up there. I promise!

So in the interest of ‘research’ we watched Peter Pan last night. At the Block(suckiestmovierentalplaceintheworld)buster check out the guy looked at our selections. “So, you have Kill Bill Vol. 1 and…Peter Pan?” Yes. Yes we do. It’s for the kids. Kill Bill. Not Peter Pan. Peter Pan is for us. Anyway, we watched it, both of us skeptical, the trailers made it look godawful. It was not. It was good. I enjoyed it. I was disturbed by the sexual tension between the thirteen year old girl and Hook who was the same actor playing her father. It was kinda creepy. Also the sexual tension between Wendy and Peter Pan. I don’t know…kids being ‘in love’ at that age… Whatever. Anyway, if you have a free rental or want something light and sweet (and kind of disturbing) I recommend it. I’m not kidding.

Ummm. I don’t want to alarm anyone who has been waiting on pins and needles for the 1 and a half year hang over to be over, but it is. My editor, Formerly Shy Girl, is the bomb yo’. We finished my movie today! Done. Dee you enn, dun.

I have so much shit to do now. Jesus. I hope it’s as fun as drinking without a hangover.

Elliot, Allie and I went to Ands’ beach house yesterday. It was a grilled cheese sandwich and margarita afternoon, that lead to a sour belts kind of evening (anyone visiting Ands in the next couple of days, the guy needs cookies, or brownies, or some kind of treat other than sour belts).

While we were all laying around on the couch eating and drinking I was reminded of the time when Ands started talking about our future Vanity Fair article. Yesterday was one of those days that will some day be remembered when we’re all talking about the early part of the millennium as we look back on our successful careers. I cannot wait! I love Vanity Fair.

Did I ever tell you I wanted to be a trucker when I was growing up? I still kind of do. Just me and the open road (and the crystal meth). I love truck stops. When you’re browsing for 1980’s country CDs in the Christian Rock section you can hear the sweet sounds of “Shower number eight hundred is now ready.” They have 800 showers? Wow. That’s a lot of showers. There is a truck wash. It’s awesome, so huge and the trucks come out so shiny and pretty, with nary a sign of dirt on them. The best part I think would be either the CB chatter or the sleeper cab. I can’t decide. I love learning codes and I think CB code would be fun. I also love sleeping in cars. Regular cars are too small, but a sleeper cab? It must be perfect.

Elliot and I grilled last night, with charcoal and everything. We had to put the grill together first. Pain. in. the. ass. Not as bad as my least favorite place in the world (IKEA) but bad. It only required one tool. There were two of us. We finally got it working and the fire was mesmerizing. If I wasn’t so deathly afraid of burning up, I would totally be a pyromaniac. Then we watched true stories on television. The true story of The Manson Murders, the True Story of Troy (both Elliot and I were confused that Troy was lost. How do you loose a city? Allie’s answer, IT WAS BURNED TO THE GROUND! Wait, that movie wasn’t a documentary?), the True Hollywood story of Jenny McCarthy, the Sopranos. (Wha? The Sopranos isn’t a documentary?) It was a really great episode, very David Lynch. So David Lynch that we were convinced he had directed it. We were wrong.

Mr. T leaves this morning for NYC, we made plans to meet up there. We’ll see if that works out, we’re both a bit flaky. That’s the trouble in friendships, I’m kind of flaky so I need friends who aren’t, but I’m quite drawn to other flakes.

Oh, and I bought chocolate milk yesterday. I’m not supposed to drink milk, but this stuff is amazing. Extra creamy. Yeah, I’m going to be having problems later. I’ll try to keep them to myself.

Things an almost three year old is interested in:
1. Candy, specifically lollipops
2. Ice cream
3. Who the good guys and the bad guys are.
4. Bones
5. What everyone and everything’s names are/is
6. Insects
7. The Astro Orbiter or any ride that takes humans to unbelievably scary heights.
8. Riding the Astro Orbiter by herself (is she actually related to the Blaich’s?)
9. Being carried
10. What every noise is coming from (don’t tell her it’s a giant upstairs…)

Things an almost three year old is not interested in:
1. Pizza (seriously, is she related to us?)
2. Riding in a stroller when she would prefer to be carried (you can never really tell when this is going to happen, but the screaming and kicking are a good indication)
3. Being told that there isn’t a bone in her nose, that it is actually cartilege.
4. Seeing Pooh and Tigger and Eyeore go on break.
5. Seeing Captain Hook (she was screaming, “I don’t want to see Captain Hook!” and we were all, “OK. Fine, you don’t have to see him.” Two seconds later Captain Hook walked by. The little thing is psychic.)
6. Having Auntie tell her she cannot ride the Astro Orbitor by herself (that lady is riding by herself…)
7. Being shown the ducks and then having to leave the ducks.
8. Sitting through a really long and boring graduation ceremony, especially after Auntie walked by her without seeing her.
9. Waiting in line
10. Not being the center of attention (yeah, she’s my niece.)

So graduation is over. Gary Rydstrom gave a great speech, for the life of me I can’t remember the message. John McCain also gave a great speech, the message was courage and service. Other than that graduation was a bit boring. Not a lot of people from my semester were there, but that’s because we should have graduated a year ago.

The after party was fun, everyone loves Ands. I didn’t get to spend much time with Allie’s family, but her sisters seem cool and her parents seem normal. My niece really liked the Canadian, and asked where he was today at Disneyland. She called Ands silly old Waller. She got to meet Mickey, Minnie, and Goofy. She freaked out when she saw Captain Hook, but quickly got over it.

The best niece moment was when Fiona said the curtains in the hotel room were really ugly, she was totally right. Then she said, “This room is full of junk, they need to get a new closet.” Kids. She’s not even three. So everyone leaves tomorrow and I get to get back to thinking and planning only for myself, which I totally miss. Keeping everyone together and on task is really tedious. Having a 63 year old and a two and a half year old in the same planning scheme is way too difficult.

G’ night.