Archive for February, 2004

Published by Tamara on 28 Feb 2004

February 28, 2004

I have an addiction. Snooze. I’m addicted to snooze. It started off as a harmless once in a while kind of thing back in college. I would hit the snooze a couple of times, give myself an extra 18 minutes of sleep, cut my shower short and go on with my day. It progressed to cut shower short, don’t eat breakfast and get an extra 27 minutes of sleep. Then for a while it was the skipping of the shower, breakfast and coffee to give myself an extra 45 minutes of sleep when I decided I should set my alarm for 45 minutes earlier. That way, I could get my shower, breakfast and coffee and still feel like I was getting the ‘extra’ 45. I thought I could trick myself into it. It ended up being 1 hour and 30 minutes of ‘extra’ sleep still skipping breakfast, coffee and shower and feeling like I had been drinking the night before (which to be honest, might have been the case). This became such a habit that now I don’t know how to get up for the alarm the first time it rings. Nine more minutes really means a lot to you when you’ve only been sleeping for 5 hours. The habit worsened when I got into grad school. I had illusions of getting up early and writing in the morning, or excercising or even reading the assigned reading for the 9am class. So I would set my alarm 2 hours earlier than it needed to be set. Which ended up giving me 2 hours of ‘extra’ sleep, plus the 45 I had become accustomed to and a mood like a wounded bear. One time my sister called me out, had an intervention if you will (which by the way didn’t work) and said, “You aren’t getting good sleep in those two hours, it’s being interupted every nine minutes. It’s really not good for you and you are acting like a total bitch to everyone around you.” I tried everything. I moved the clock to the other side of the room, that only made me stumble across the room and lose an extra 20 seconds of sleep. I got a clock that didn’t have snooze. And proceeded to reset the alarm for nine minutes later every nine minutes. I tried getting rid of the clock entirely and doing a mantra before I went to bed, You will get up at 7, you will get up at 7. Yeah. Late for the next ten days. Nothing worked. I couldn’t kick the habit. So I continue my snooze addiction to this day, hoping some day someone will release me from these nine minute chains and give me a real and true 45 minutes of ‘extra’ sleep.

Published by Tamara on 28 Feb 2004

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The air was so clear today I felt like I was in a movie about how perfect and beautiful Los Angeles is. I saw a hummingbird. The swallows are back, not at our building but one not too far away. I’ll miss their chirping. Dirty Bird is not back. I’m expecting him soon.

I was reading Lolita and someone sitting next to me said, ‘Is that the Kubric movie?’ ‘No,’ I answered. ‘It’s the Nabokov novel.’

That is all.

Published by Tamara on 26 Feb 2004

I was a part of the best episode of The Waller Show last night. For those of you who don’t know, The Waller Show is what happens on Wednesday nights during “The O.C.” Als, Mels, Tams and Ands (with the recent addition of Ands girlfriend, Cats) get together, have dinner, watch the O.C. and Waller ‘hosts’ the event. It’s quite a spectacle. Mels named it when Waller was being particularly Wallerific one night by saying, “You’re on the Andrew Waller show,” in a very funny hosty kind of voice, and it stuck. So anyway, last night I rushed into Waller’s house soaking wet from the rain and Waller had a special gleam in his eye. He had a new toy. A toy that would change all of our lives. A toy that brought all of us into giggling heaps on the floor (actually it was just me in a giggling heap on the floor). A Disney Karaoke machine. It started off with just Waller singing the Little Mermaid classic, “Part of Your World,” and kept going when I finally peeled myself off the floor and sang it again with him. Then there was Pocohantas, “Colors of the Wind,” and the Little Mermaid, “Kiss the Girl.” there was also a rousing trio of “Part of Your World,” and a touching duet of “A Whole New World.” The song list went on and on. Actually it didn’t, there really aren’t that many songs and once you’ve sung “A Pirate’s Life for Me” with the actual lyrics, you never, ever want to sing it again, or “It’s a Small World,” which didn’t by the way have the Chinese, Russian, Indian words in there, you really just want to turn the stupid thing off. But then we discovered the voices. That’s right, you can change your voice.

There’s a dragon voice, a bird voice, a mouse voice and our personal favorite, the pony voice. Now to understand the amount of glee we had at discovering how great the pony voice is, you must know two things. First of all, it has been a running joke that I had a pony as a kid. I did have a horse, but Waller likes to tell everyone that I was a secret rich kid. His evidence always comes out like this, “But you had a pony!” Second, Als, Ands and I all saw Old School together. I at one point stood up and pointed at the screen and almost peed my pants I thought it was so funny, especially the part where Will Ferrell gets shot with the tranquilizer gun. So now that you know that, the pony voice sounds exactly like Will Ferrell when he gets shot with the tranquilizer gun, and Als made it talk to me like it was my pony talking to me from the grave. Now. I must tell you, Mels and Cats, not so amused with the Disney Karaoke machine, but that did not stop Mels from figuring out a feature on the Disney Karaoke machine that would soon change the way the game was played. No more would we be just singing for the fun of it, no we had competition rules now, baby!!! The singing machine will score your performance. It will give you an actual number grade as you go through the song. 0-100.

So the game was on. Als, Ands and I would sing “Part of Your World.” Best score wins. Waller has a disadvantage. He is a man, with a mans voice, so naturally it’s going to be hard to win. We didn’t give him a handicap. We don’t play like that, men have been winning all throughout history against women, we’re not going to start helping them out now. Waller got a 33. It was brutal.

Als was up next. She was blowing the damn thing out of the water, 95’s, high 80’s. I was sweating. She was good. Her final score. 65. I was worried. I took the mic, took a deep breath and sang
for my life. It was beautiful. 99’s were flashing, high and mid 80’s. Ok an occasional 8 would show up, but I was singing, yo, I was killing. The final score flashed. 77. That’s right. I won. It was glorious.

Everyone started dispersing after that, but not me, I stayed with the machine and decided to try something a little harder, a little out of my range, “A Whole New World.” No one else was in the room, it was just me and the machine. I sang my heart out. I screamed for everyone to
come in and see my final score, they all say they weren’t there, that they don’t know for sure if it’s true, but I know. I know I got an 83. I know that I am the next American Idol. I know it.