Published by admin on 21 Dec 2010
We met with the fertility doctor again last week. This time to do what most teenagers (and come to think of it, many adults) would see as the most embarrassing test they’ve ever had to take, unless they had to do the test with their parents watching - the post coital test.
For those of you who have never had the pleasure of dabbling in the fertility arts, this test happens on morning after your peak cycle day (the day your pee strip indicates you’ve ovulated) and after you’ve had sex. There is much questioning about whether or not you’ve had intercourse the night before, or in my nurses’ lingo “gotten busy.” Three people asked. Then the doctor asked again. I guess they want to make sure they aren’t sucking out your cervical mucous for no reason.
First, they do an ultrasound, and the wand is not playfully smooshed around your belly like it is in the movies. Nope, it’s up in there. The doctor pronounced my lining nice and thick (thanks, Jen for your magic tea!) and my ovaries very young for their ancient 34 years with lots of healthy follicles. I want to say 24 follicles, but that sounds like I might have exaggerated in my head and I don’t want the fertility police to tell me that I’m crazy if I think anyone would believe the human body could naturally have 24 follicles at the age of 34. So, it was a lot of follicles. More than he expected, given my age. They were very nice about how old I’m getting (seriously, I’m only 34, but at 35 they really start to scare you about your chances of having kids if you’ve never been pregnant before) but at one point I was like, “Look at Seth! He’s the OLD one.”
Then they got out my old friend the speculum. And sucked out some cervical mucous. He warned me it was about as painful as a pap smear, and I just laughed, once you’ve had your urethra “stretched” and a uterine biopsy, a pap smear is about as painful as brushing your teeth.
Then they took the mucous to the microscope and looked for sperm. Which is when the nurse enthusiastically told us about a documentary on the Discovery channel about the journey of the sperm. She went on and on about the documentary, and when she finally left the room so I could put my pants on, Seth was like, “They really love their jobs.”
The doctor directed me to look in the microscope. I have never been able to see what people are seeing in a microscope. I always sort of fake my way through it. And this time was no different.
Then we had a meeting in his office. He told us that our next step would be IUI (I made a joke about being a cow) and that what he saw didn’t mean anything was wrong with me or with Seth, just that my mucous was possibly a hostile environment and not being very helpful. (Aww… my mucous is just like me!)
So that’s what’s happening over here. I might get pregnant this month, but from what the doctor saw, he thinks it’s pretty unlikely. And next month we go to the next step.