Nothing like have a blood boiling read first thing in the morning, right?
Deep breath. Probably “NSFW Reading” as you’ll likely start burning your bra and spitting on men as they laugh about the fart joke they heard on Howard Stern. Also because I say words like pussy, dick, and bloody vagina.
Christopher Hitchens wrote a puff piece for Vanity Fair with the (obviously flawed and shittily researched) thesis that women aren’t as funny as men. His reason? Because none of his male friends sit around and talk about their female girlfriends like this, “She’s hot, sucks a dick with pleasure, and she’s fucking hilarious.” No, but his female friends do! Oh, how they talk about their ugly, bumbling boyfriends with all their funny, funny jokes. I would say that the problem with this is not that his guy friends don’t find women funny, but that they’d rather talk about our tight little pussies than the way we tell a joke.
He goes on. (and on and on) Part of his supporting material contends that women aren’t as funny as men because we give birth. That’s right, we can’t be funny because we have baby chutes between our legs. Oh, and he goes further, we’re so scared about pushing heads from our vaginas and the horrible death that is stalking us at every turn, that we just can’t find the time to be funny. (God, he’s a douche bag.) And I quote:
Humor, if we are to be serious about it, arises
from the ineluctable fact that we are all born into a losing struggle.
Those who risk agony and death to bring children into this fiasco
simply can’t afford to be too frivolous. (And there just aren’t that
many episiotomy jokes, even in the male repertoire.) I am certain that
this is also partly why, in all cultures, it is females who are the
rank-and-file mainstay of religion, which in turn is the official enemy
of all humor. One tiny snuffle that turns into a wheeze, one little cut
that goes septic, one pathetically small coffin, and the woman’s
universe is left in ashes and ruin. Try being funny about that, if you
The “woman’s” universe is left in ashes and ruin? Because we let our baaaaybeeeee DIEEEEEEE! Where does this guy live? The 15th Century? I can guess (it would have to be a guess as my vagina remains a baby-free passageway currently only used for fucking and bleeding) that losing a child would be something that both parents would mourn. I don’t really see a mother or a father turning that into a stand-up routine. And in the same short quote, he basically calls women un-funny because they believe in God. Hmmm… Anne Lamott, anyone? Oh, he probably hasn’t read anything by her because she’s of Jewish decent, has a child, might be considered a little ‘dykey’ looking and IS FUNNY.
I think Christopher Hitchens is not only not very funny himself, but a bit of a racist, sexist, homophobic twit. “Most of [female comics], though, when you come to review the situation, are hefty or dykey or Jewish, or some combo of the three.” So, what he’s saying is, if you’re fat, gay or Jewish you aren’t going to be having kids anyway, so you are free to be hilarious.
Look, I’m not sure if you took a wide view of all the comedians in all the world and all the humorists in all the world and put the men on one side and women on the other it would be even. But that isn’t because women aren’t funnier, it’s because we live in a patriarchal world where women continue struggle to be considered for positions of power. And while this is clearly off the topic of women being funnier than men, it bears repeating, when we are finally hired (or elected as in the case of Nancy Pelosi), our leadership, power and success is attributed to being a mother who raised a litter children so, OF COURSE, we can run a Congress.
If his piece was meant to be funny, it failed. And it’s not because I’m a woman that I fail to see the humor, it’s because I’m on my period. (kidding) I read parts of the article to Louie and he confirmed that no, it is not funny. Then he said, “Sarah Silverman is the funniest person in America right now.” And I agree, not because she’s Jewish, but because she tells a good rape joke.
I encourage you to read the article. And to read Hitchens’ wikipedia entry. And to punch a dude in the nuts and laugh with glee as you wonder why no man ever finds the image of a man doubled over in explosive pain funny, and why every woman does.